It's understandable! Mistakes happen occasionally. If you find yourself using the incorrect pronoun for someone, the best course of action is to promptly acknowledge it by saying something like, "Sorry, I meant to use (insert correct pronoun)."

If you realize your error later, it's appropriate to offer a private apology and then move forward.

While it might be tempting to dwell on your mistake or express how difficult it is for you to get it right, it's important to avoid doing so. Such actions can make the individual who was misgendered feel uncomfortable and burdened with consoling you, which isn't their responsibility at all.

In educational settings, if you notice a student using the wrong pronoun for someone, it's generally acceptable to gently correct them without causing further embarrassment to the individual. You can simply say something like, "Alex prefers the pronoun she," and then continue with the conversation.

If you observe other students or faculty consistently using the wrong pronouns for someone, it's crucial not to overlook it. Letting the individual know that you support them is important. You might approach them and say, "I noticed that others were using the wrong pronoun for you earlier, and I understand how hurtful that can be. Would you be comfortable with me reminding them of your correct pronouns?" Be prepared to follow up, but gauge the situation based on the comfort level of the individual. Your supportive actions will be greatly valued.

Consider initiating with questions like: "Which pronouns do you prefer?" or "Could you please remind me of your pronouns?" Initially, it might feel awkward, but it's far less uncomfortable than making assumptions that could be hurtful. Additionally, inquiring about when to use those pronouns can help safeguard individuals from being involuntarily outed; for instance, you could ask, "Are there any circumstances where you prefer I don't use these pronouns?"

If you're incorporating this into an introductory activity and wish to provide a brief explanation of gender pronouns, you might say something along these lines: "Introduce yourself with your name, where you're from, and your preferred pronouns. These are the pronouns you use to refer to yourself. For instance, I'm Xena, from Amazon Island, and I prefer she, her, and hers pronouns. So, for example, you would say 'she went to her car' when talking about me."

Consistently asking for pronouns can contribute to creating a more inclusive and secure environment for individuals to share their pronouns, which they might not have felt comfortable doing previously.

However, it's important to recognize that there could be various reasons why someone might choose not to disclose their pronouns in a group setting. If someone opts not to share their pronouns, it's appropriate to use their name instead or inquire in a more private context.

Determining someone's pronouns solely by appearance isn't always accurate. Asking and using someone's pronouns correctly is fundamental in demonstrating respect for their gender identity.

Misusing pronouns can lead individuals to feel disrespected, invalidated, dismissed, alienated, or dysphoric, often experiencing a combination of these emotions. Major professional American psychological and psychiatric associations acknowledge that adopting inclusive language practices for LGBTQ+ individuals significantly reduces instances of depression, social anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and other adverse mental health outcomes.

Having the luxury of not worrying about which pronoun others will use based on perceived gender is a privilege. Failing to respect someone else's gender identity despite possessing this privilege is not only disrespectful and hurtful but also perpetuates oppression.

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.